Kaye’s Inner Mind

Why do we love, then fail in the end? Hmmm..good question isn’t it?  Well I don’t know the answer either.  All I know is that when you love, you don’t want it to fail.  You do everything you can to make the relationship work.  You give everything, your emotions, your well-being.  You forget your ideals.  You even forget yourself for awhile because you begin to do things that normally you would not do.  You give everything to the one you love without questions, without asking something in return…that is what I call real love.

But then when you fail, you begin to think…Was it all worth it? Did I do the right thing? Did I choose the right person? Wasn’t I good enough?  Wasn’t he/she good enough?  Did I love him/her too much or did I love him/her less?  Did I really love him/her?

We won’t know the answers or maybe we don’t want to know the answers.  All we know is that when we love, we give everything.  That is why when we fail, there should be no regrets, just lessons learned.  Lessons that will linger on our mind and hearts.  Lessons that will make us strong.  Lessons that will give us the strength to go on with our lives.  Lessons that will lead us the way.  Lessons that will keep us going…searching for our "one true love".

To you my friends (you know who you are), just hold on…don’t give up on love…love might just be around the corner…and always remember everything happens for a reason…if it is not meant to be, then it is not meant to be…but if it is meant to be, love will find its way back…

kbk/083006

I have always had an ideal partner in my mind. First and foremost, he should be
God-fearing, but I don’t wish for a saint, just a person who acknowledges his
Creator. He should be at least
financially secure, a stable job will do. He should love his own family, I mean his parents and his siblings, ‘coz
my family is very important to me too. In that way, I know how he would value the family we would have in the
future. He should be understanding and
thoughtful. He should know to throw a
joke here and there, but still has a serious side within him. He should respect me as a woman and trusts
me as a partner, but letting me move in my own world as I will let him move in
his own world too. He should know how
to treat each obstacle in our lives as a good learning experience as these
problems are the very same foundation of a stronger and binding relationship.

But come to think of it, I don’t usually end up with this
“ideal partner” thingy. I have realized
that when you love a person, all your ideals will no longer exist, it
won’t matter anymore because you already have loved this person for who he is
and have learned to accept his past, present and future as well.

So what is love without acceptance? Then it is not called
love.

kbk/081106

This past few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride for me.  There are times when I think I already have found the happiness i have been looking for but there are times that i ask myself, did i really or i am just imagining things again? It is all about right timing.  Patience i told myself, patience!!!

I also realized a lot of things from what is happening around me.  What is love without trust?  Is it all just about sex? Is it all just about lust?  Is it all just about companionship?  Is it all just about security?  Is it all just about being with someone you really love but waking up each morning wondering if you can trust this person or not?

I asked myself, can i do that? Can i be with someone whom i cannot trust 100%? i dont think so…no matter how i love him, no matter how i would want to be with him and spend the rest of my life with him, still it boils into one thing, i would want to trust this person as he would to me.  i believe i deserve that trust because if i love somebody, i give my whole self, my whole being, my whole existence.  i am not a jealous person, i don’t tell my partner don’t do this, don’t do that, i believe in the existence of three worlds, his world, my world and our world.  As long as i know that i can trust him, wherever he is, whatever he does, that is all what matters.

So can i love somebody whom i cannot trust??? i don’t think so…i don’t think so.

kbk/08/03/06

FLYING WITHOUT WINGS

Everybody’s looking for a something
One thing that makes it all complete
You’ll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover’s eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you’ve found that special thing
You’re flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You’ll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You’ll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much it means
You’ve found that special thing
You’re flying without wings

So impossible as it may seem
You’ve got to fight for every dream
Cos who’s to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it’s waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place

It’s little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it’s like flying without wings
Cos you’re my special thing
I’m flying without wings

And in this place I long to be
You’ll be where it ends
I’m flying without wings
And that’s the joy you bring
I’m flying without wings